


7 Minutes

by saraswords



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Afterlife, Angst, Bittersweet, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, LGBTQ Character, Living Together, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Moving In Together, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, phanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 12:44:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20153803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saraswords/pseuds/saraswords
Summary: "Moments, memories, that’s all that Dan had left to relive, but he could only pick a handful. He only had 7 minutes after-all.So…he picked. He chose his favorites, a compilation of small and big moments: lying in bed together, moving in together, slow dancing, life-changing questions, and simple nights.And what they all had in common, was one person..."





	7 Minutes

“Phil.” Dan shivered as he turned around to face his boyfriend, his eyes still shut closed not wanting to open even though he was fully awake.  
The mattress sank and moved as he shifted his weight to his other side, turning around towards Phil.  
He opened his eyes slowly and gazed at the man next to him on the bed, still comfortably sleeping, wrapped in a colorful blanket they were supposed to share, which apparently, was something Phil had completely forgotten about.

“Phillll, for fucks sake its freezing and you’re hogging the one blanket that we have” Dan mumbled slightly annoyed and yearning for a little bit of warmth as goosebumps were trailing his skin.  
He looked towards Phil again and saw the other smirking, his eyes still closed as he poorly pretended to sleep.

“How long have you been awake for god’s sake, let me have some of the blanket” he pulled the blanket off Phil and took a piece for himself, finally a little warmth. It was painfully early, the birds hadn’t even started singing, and the room still held a dim light from the darkness of the night, and of course Dan was cold. 

“Sorry love, didn’t notice” Phil said chuckling, pulling Dan closer to share some of his warmth.

Dan scoffed “Yeah yeah sure, of course you didn’t. How is it even this cold in October? It’s not even winter yet” he cuddled closer, putting his head on Phil’s chest, getting comfortable, already feeling sleep taking a hold of him, his eyelids feeling heavy.

Phil laughed quietly, and Dan could feel the vibrations of his chest, it felt weirdly intimate but wonderful nonetheless. He felt so enamored, he just wanted to stay there, forever, next to Phil. 

Although, they technically had just met in person a few days ago, he felt as if had known Phil for forever. As if their souls connected in another life and were meant to meet again. And so, slowly, as the night turned into morning he started drifting back into silence, that was, until Phil’s quiet voice was waking him up again, strained from the lack of talking.

“I’ll buy another blanket for the next time you visit” Phil said, and Dan’s heart broke a little. He had to leave back to his home tomorrow, the dreaded goodbye awaited and even though he had already planned his next trip back he was already missing Phil. So, he moved closer to him, wrapping his cold body to Phil’s warm one, trying to just enjoy the closeness of the other.

Then, he heard his boyfriend’s breath suddenly hitch “your feet are cold Dan” and Dan hit him playfully on the chest and Phil chuckled “Oh shut up, it’s your fault, now let me sleep”

\---------

“We should dance” Phil walked towards Dan who was sitting on the floor, unpacking.

Slow music playing in the background on one of their phones. There was something Phil loved about instrumental music, and even though it wasn’t Dan’s favorite thing, it made the house feel warm and personal. 

The floor was covered with cardboard, boxes everywhere. Unbuilt and unopened furniture right next to them. There was barely any space to walk at all, and all the same, this apartment was the center of Dan and Phil’s little world, something that belong to them, and just them. 

“Dance?” Dan looked at Phil in disbelieve “We have so much to unpack and you want to dance?” and even though he was trying hard to hide his smile, his heart fluttered with the idea. He would never admit it, but he loved when Phil suggested those out of movie cheesy moments, he adored them, just like he adored Phil. 

Phil didn’t miss a beat, he nodded and gave Dan a toothy smile and extended his hand towards him to take. And Dan did, he took Phil’s hand, and Phil pulled him from the messy floor, close together, as they swayed slowly to the music. 

They didn’t really move much, but the closeness was enough, swaying back and forth as time seemed to stay still for a few seconds. Dan was enveloped in everything Phil which had become something so familiar and comforting, and he inhaled deeply and placed his head on Phil’s shoulder.

“We became one of those couples, didn’t we?” and even though Dan didn’t really specify, Phil knew exactly what he meant. He smiled kissing Dan’s neck lovingly “Yes we did” 

And Dan grinned nostalgically against Phil’s shoulder, their hearts pounding together in unison, “Good.” 

\--------  
“Dan, babe, are you okay?” Phil said quietly knocking on the white bathroom door.  
It was late, everything was dark and quiet, you could only see the light of the moon reflected on the tiled floor and, all you could hear was Dan’s ragged breathing.

Dan sniffled and took a deep breath.  
It was happening again, he could feel it, he was losing himself again.  
He was disappointed to say the least, mad at himself. Everything was perfect in his life, he had nothing more to ask for but for some reason he felt sad, lost in a void of self-destruction and self-hatred, like a star appearing in the daylight, always in the wrong place, wrong time, not knowing where to fit in.

He almost didn’t hear Phil come in after Dan hadn’t respond to his concerned calls.  
Phil sat next to him on the bathroom floor, not touching him, knowing that he hated any type of contact unless he directly asked for it. 

Dan didn’t look at Phil, instead, he said through sobs, “Hug me please” and Phil did. He wrapped his arms around Dan tightly. 

“I’m here Dan, it’s okay, I’m here” Phil said worry filtering through his voice, one hand making comforting circles on Dan’s back. 

They both stayed there, quiet for a second until Dan’s breathing evened out. Then, Phil walked Dan back to their bed.  
Dan felt weak, his vision blurry from the tears, but glad to have his head resting on a soft pillow and being under the comforting soft blankets. They both laid awake, curled up next to each other, Phil threading his fingers gently through Dan’s hair.

“Dan, I think we should get you some help” it sounded harsher than Phil had intended, Dan’s whole body stiffen, tension seeping through his body, but Phil kept going, trying his best to say what he needed to “I know it’s scary, I know you don’t want to, I know you think they can’t help you” and Phil sighed “but why don’t you give it a try”

Dan didn’t want to, he really didn’t, therapy, it just, it was scary, talking to a stranger. What could a stranger do that would actually help him? But Dan was so tired, so incredibly tired, and he didn’t want to fall back to his old self, return to who he was once all those years ago before meeting Phil, and that made his decision for him.

“okay” Dan said, almost a whisper, but Phil heard. And he sighed relieved, and kept threading Dan’s hair until they had both fallen asleep to the quiet of the night. 

\--------

“You can’t be serious, how did you not see it!?” Phil walked through the door angrily, taking off his coat and throwing it in on the gray couch before turning back towards Dan, who was placing his own scarf on the hanger next to the door. 

Dan sighed “I really didn’t, I don’t know what you’re talking about” and he walked towards Phil trying to keep his voice as calm as possible “maybe you imagined it” 

Phil looked at Dan, offended, his blue eyes wide “I did not! He was totally flirting with you, if I hadn’t gotten there in time I would have been surprised if he asked you out, he already was being all touchy, putting his hand on your shoulder as if you were old friends” 

“Phil, babe, nothing was happening he just came up to me asking for directions, saying thank you by putting his hand on my shoulder” but Dan did understand why Phil was jealous because he had seen it happen with Phil numerous, where people were a little bit too friendly, too touchy, too much of everything and when it happened it made Dan’s blood burn with anger and jealously.

In this case he had to admit that he was enjoying this little domestic argument, because while he got defensive when anyone tried to take his Phil away, it was rare to see Phil jealous. So, when it happened, Dan couldn’t help but feel flattered by Phil’s attention and possessiveness, he basked on it. 

Still, he didn’t want this argument to last forever, so he moved towards Phil who was now sitting on the couch angrily mumbling to himself. Sat next to him and intertwined his fingers with Phil’s, both hands cold from winter snow, slowly warming up with each other. 

“Well…if it makes you feel better, if he had asked me out I would have immediately told him no, and stated that I had the most wonderful, gorgeous boyfriend already” Dan said raising their hands to his lips and kissing Phil’s knuckles lovingly. 

Phil smiled looking at Dan, standing up and making his way to the kitchen taking two mugs from the cabinets and Dan just watched, he really couldn’t help himself, he really did feel lucky. Phil walked back towards Dan and handed him one of the mugs filled with hot chocolate. 

“So…I’m gorgeous and wonderful?” Phil said chuckling sipping his drink.

Dan looked up, a sassy “shut up” almost slipping from his tongue but he stopped himself and smiled fondly instead “Yeah”

Phil was taken aback for a second, expecting sarcasm from Dan like usual, but soon his expression was replaced by a smile that mirrored Dan’s, before leaning in a bringing their lips together. Forgotten drinks on the coffee table, permanently leaving their mark on the wood.

\------ 

“I’m so proud of you” Dan heard Phil say firmly as he felt hands on his shoulders running up and down his arms as an act of comforting.

Dan looked back at Phil, brown eyes, filled with doubt and maybe even regret, collided with blue eyes, filled with pride and encouragement. Dan took a deep breath and sighed worriedly leaning into Phil’s touch. 

“I hope it’s good enough, I hope people don’t take it the wrong way” Dan said turning around in his chair away from his grey laptop, and back into the so called “moon room” which he and Phil shared. 

Phil followed close behind “you’ve been working on this video for months, and even though I know most people will be extremely happy, you should be proud no matter what” they sat together, Phil putting his hand on his boyfriends back, comforting him. 

“I know I know, I just can’t believe I finally did it, I finally came out” and Dan laughed nostalgically “after so many years” 

And Phil laughed with him before pecking his cheek softly “You did it love” 

\---------

“It’s almost midnight” Dan mumbled to himself, looking out the window, as he waited for the colorful fireworks. “Phil! Come here it’s almost midnight” he yelled across the hall.

For some reason this year Phil had asked Dan to just have a calm celebration all by themselves in their home. And even though it was strange, and it surprised Dan, he gladly accepted, it’s not like he liked people anyways. 

Thankfully, they had the perfect view for fireworks. Up in their flat, nothing blocked the view and he remembered other years when they had had friends over how beautiful those explosions of light brightened the sky in preparation for the new year. He was excited to see them with Phil just Phil, even though he was nowhere to be seen. 

“Phil! You’re gonna miss it!” Dan yelled again, looking at the clock on the wall. Five minutes until midnight. 

Dan was about to turn around and look for Phil, but he was stopped in his tracks. His jaw dropped, and his eyes started tearing up immediately, he wasn’t a big crier, he couldn’t even remember the last time he cried but this did it.

And there he was, Phil Lester, dressed in sweatpants, mismatched socks and Dan’s shirt which was way to baggy for him. There he was, one knee on the floor, one hand holding a box with a ring, his hand shaking slightly as he looked directly into Dan’s eyes, blue colliding with brown.

“Dan…” Phil said, clearing his throat, he was nervous, Dan could tell. 

“yes. YES” Dan bursted out, tears already running down his cheeks against his will and a ball of excitement exploding in his stomach.

And Phil laughed regardless of his nervousness “you haven’t even let me asked the question” he said letting the box drop a little and smiling fondly at Dan.  
“Sorry sorry” he clamped his hand on his mouth to stop himself from talking and motioned Phil to continue.  
“Dan…ever since I met you, I knew you were the love of my life. From the first time I laid my eyes on you, from the first conversation, I just knew” and he took a deep breath “and I know marriage is not something that validates love but I just feel that this is the last thing I can do to show you that I want to spend my whole life with you, till death do us apart, and even after” Phil started tearing up “I love you so fucking much Dan, more than I could ever love anyone” he took the ring out of the box “will you marry me?” 

And Dan closed his eyes for a split second, time seemed to slow down as the words left his mouth “Yes” he sniffed “of course I will Phil” Phil took Dan’s left hand, slowly standing up and sliding the ring on his finger, it fit perfectly. 

They hugged and they kissed, and looked towards the window, seeing the wonderful colors in the sky, lights surrounding them celebrating with them. 

“It’s beautiful” Dan said looking at the ring shinning in the light and then looking back at Phil, who had his arm around his waist “did you actually think I would say no?” Dan chuckled

“I mean, I was confident, but you never know” Phil laughed, looking from the window to Dan “I’m glad you said yes though” he pecked Dan’s lips.

“I have a fiancé now” Dan said not actually believing it, still looking at the black band with diamonds dotted around it, it was perfect.

Phil smiled brightly “And soon you’ll have husband” 

\---------

“Do you still love me?” Dan abruptly asked as they laid together on the hotel bed, cuddling, voices of the tv acting as a distraction from silence. They had decided to take a small holiday, out in the middle of nowhere, where they wouldn’t have to worry about getting recognized and could have some well-deserved alone time. 

Phil was taken aback by the sudden question, but he was quick to answer nonetheless, smirking at Dan “I married you, what do you think?” Phil said chuckling, a hand resting comfortably on Dan’s waist.

Dan wasn’t going to lie. Even after years of their relationship, where they had already done everything there was for a couple to do, sometimes a little doubt creeped in, just a little, but it was there. What if Phil just got tired of him all of a sudden? What was he supposed to do then?

So, Dan needed a little reassurance once in a while, no harm done, “You know marriage doesn’t guarantee love” Dan crossed his arms and glanced at Phil. 

“Daniel James Howell-Lester, I am truly offended by your doubts of my love for you” turning around facing Dan, taking a look at his face which conveyed his insecurity, understanding that Dan was serious “Dan, babe, love, of course I love you” and he kissed Dan’s face sweetly “I love you” 

And Dan smiled, his doubt disappearing with every kiss “That’s an awfully long name Phil, I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to it” and he pulled Phil closer “ I hate you” Dan blushed, somehow after all those years Phil could still make him blush, a wonderful rosy color. 

The color of a sunset filtered through the window beautifully, marking the end…of the day. 

\---------

“You’re going to be okay Dan, I love you” Dan felt Phil squeeze his hand tightly, so tightly, it felt like it was breaking in a million pieces. He didn’t have the heart to tell Phil to let go, or the strength, so he just squeezed back and mumbled ‘I love you’, the best he could.

Dan’s head pounded incessantly, his heart aching with every beat. Somehow, he felt everything and at the same time he felt completely numb. He started wondering…how much longer he could hold on, he was trying so so hard, but he was weak... getting weaker.

The beeping of the machines wasn’t making it better. The emptiness of the room was making it look so white, it was blinding him and making his headache worse. He wanted to tell Phil to please just take him home, he wanted his bed, his own house, but he couldn’t speak anymore. 

What was happening to him? Why couldn’t he breathe right?

He just wanted to sleep, he wanted to sleep so bad.

His eyes opened for a second, one split second, eyelids heavy and tired, cheeks pale and colorless. He tried to focus, he tried so hard, until all he saw where Phil’s blue eyes looking straight at his. 

All he saw was blue. 

Blue the shade of Phil’s eyes, blue like the sky, blue like lighting in the storm, blue like the ocean. Waves of blue so strong he could feel himself going under…until he drowned.

\----------

They say you have 7 minutes of consciousness after you die.

7 minutes of memory, recall, reflection, where you get to pick snippets of your life. The best ones, your favorites.  
Moments, memories, that’s all that Dan had left to relive, but he could only pick a handful. He only had 7 minutes after-all.  
So…he picked. He chose his favorites, a compilation of small and big moments: lying in bed together, moving in together, slow dancing, life-changing questions, and simple nights. 

And what they all had in common, was one person...the person that he was losing, quickly.

He kept trying, he wanted, he needed one last moment, to remember, to feel. 

Dan did live again in those 7 minutes. Images of a lifetime of memories flooding his temporary mind. A life collected in 7 minutes lost into oblivion.

7 minutes of consciousness that ended and started all the same… with blue eyes, black hair, toothy smiles and whispered I love you’s. 

And voiced echoed in his head, mumbling a name again and again, “Phil…”

Until it all went white. Beautifully-calm, empty white. 

And in the back of his head he could still remember the name whispered to him, but that was all.

7 minutes as promised…

And his non-beating heart tugged painfully as he remembered, and he couldn’t help but think that maybe at some point that name meant something to him.  
Maybe, he thought, at some point, that name, that single word… meant everything. 

He hoped, one day, someday, he could find whoever was the owner of that name, because for some reason it reminded him of colorful lights, warm fireplaces, silk sheets and ethereal sunsets.  
But for now, that was it and time was up.

**Author's Note:**

> I spent three days on this, and even though it's very good I hope you enjoy. I'm normally all about the fluffy happy endings but I wanted to write something painfully beautiful, and maybe it wasn't beautiful, but it was painful for sure.


End file.
